Why dropping out of university was the best decision I ever made
- To preface this article, I would like to inform you all that 1 year on from writing this, I am now in full time employment in an incredibly creative industry. I think my freshly dropped out 19 year old self would have found a little comfort in that. And you should too.
Oh yeah, and I still don’t have a degree.
We’re at the end of February, and I can safely say I have already learnt some huge life lessons. Some big fuck ups really, which quite frankly, I didn’t even know were mistakes I could make. Oh how I wish for my teenager naivety.
Did you know that the average deposit for a property in London is £66,000? Nope I didn’t.
And did you know that women are only fertile for 1 day a month? Add the 5 sperm survival days and that is only 6 measly days in the month you could possibly even get pregnant? Didn’t know this either but it was a little comforting to hear.
And finally, did you know that the student loan system in the UK is a massive pile of wank, who will only loan you 4 years worth of degree when everyone knows you’re an indecisive bitch and wouldn’t get your degree choice right the first time round. Or the second.
I know all of these things now. Some I am grateful for, and some.. to my dismay, not so much.
Now when I sat in Nando’s and cried over my halloumi sticks about my future (or lack thereof) of being a successful creative director, my then-boyfriend – with incredible timing turned to me and said “what are you upset about really?”. Alongside wanting to punch a tooth out for the fact that he should know better; we’re allowed to just be upset sometimes when things don’t go our way – I can’t deny it had me thinking. Why was I so upset? Okay so, I dropped out of uni and don’t have the funding for starting over. Plenty of people drop out of uni right?
So why was I so upset? I knew my parents wouldn’t be too upset. Granted, they’d probably tell me I was a prick and not to ask for anything for my birthday knowing the debt they are going to have to pull me out of, but ultimately I must admit they are fairly supportive and understanding people. I guess the answer had me bitterly crying over my (now eating) brownie.
Mostly, I was upset with myself. You don’t feel like more of an arse when you have to turn to yourself and admit that you made a mistake. You can’t even blame this one on someone else (unless you were forced to make the decision in the first place).
“I can understand why you’d be upset you dropped out, it wouldn’t have been too much longer to finish off the course”, was his reaction. What?! No! I’m upset I didn’t drop out sooner! I’m upset that I didn’t trust my gut earlier to follow my heart, soul and dreams! If I had dropped out earlier, perhaps I wouldn’t have wasted the funding needed to go and study what I wanted to study!
Now let’s look at why I made this huge mistake; (and skip this bit if you’re genuinely not interested in my story, but if you’re in that stage of your life where you’re making big decisions like university then you might find my experience helpful).
I was 14 years old at school when we were handed a piece of paper, with a bunch of subjects, paired with tick boxes. “The decisions you make choosing your GCSE’s will shape the rest of your life.” Now as far as I’m concerned, that is way too much pressure for any teenager. And the GCSE choices, leads to your A level choices and so on so forth.
I went to a school where not going to university was not an option. Not going, was a concept that was clearly alien, and certainly never spoken about. In some ways I am grateful in that they are setting a higher standard of living – yes, but I do now understand that going to university is not the only option to get to where you want to be in life.
Other things I wish I knew about the process:
As I said before, you only get 4 years of governmental funding, so it is not a slap dash decision, it is one that will need commitment. As most university courses are 3 years long, it basically means you have 1 year to make a wrong decision and swap courses.
Anyway – I did not believe I was ready to make this kind of decision at 17 years old. But alas, and I state one more time; it did not occur to me, that I could leave school and figure that out later.
Of course gap years were mentioned, but they were mentioned hastily, and within the context of “You must do something productive”.
ME: YoU mUsT dO sOmEtHiNg PrOdUcTiVe
Yes, of course I agree with this – sitting at home doing nothing is wasted time for sure, but again, a gap year is NOT wasted if all you did was find yourself. It means you are able to go to uni (OR NOT, if you choose) with a much wider idea in your head about what you want out of life.
SO — carrying on with the story (yes I know I have this incredible ability to digress from any conversation):
I chose to do a one year foundation year at an Art School. It was free and I believe it is still free for UK/EU students under the age of 19. This was mostly because I would not have gotten into uni with the A levels I had, so having a foundation degree is another way in, but also as I said earlier, I definitely wasn’t ready to jump straight into a degree.
I absolutely adored doing my foundation! I grew more as a person in this year than I had so far during education. I was pushed the right amounts, and created work that I loved and still use in my portfolio to this day.
But here is where the issue came. For some personal reasons, I was not allowed to begin the undergraduate course that I had chosen. I did not have a backup. It didn’t really occur to me that I would have to use a backup (not because I’m a spoilt brat, because when you begin a foundation course you have a guaranteed spot at that university for an undergrad course).
Anyway, I panicked. And this leads me to the next thing I wish I knew:
You do not have to go to uni at a certain age. I was definitely still not ready to make this decision at 18. However, I genuinely thought it was a now or never decision.
I chose a last minute course at a last minute uni, and to keep the story short; I hated it. I actively hated it for a year and a half before I decided to drop out. I think there are just some things in life that do not feel right and you should trust your gut instinct in this situation. I ignored mine for a year and a half. And that’s what fucked me over, if I had dropped out sooner I still would have had the full 4 years student finance to play with.
And that is mostly where I am at now; no mans land. Not enough funding to start again, not enough dedication (though I believe it would be self abuse) to have continued with my course for another year and a half.
A final thing I wish I knew, and know now:
– You do not have to go to uni, to be successful. I know if you went to a school like mine, you won’t believe me. Just do a little research into the most successful people, who spent their time wisely and WORKED. Yes I admit, it might mean you have to work extra hard in life, but it also might mean you are able to get more experience during the years you would be in uni.
– If you do go to uni, make sure you are 100% sure, passionate and dedicated. If you have your doubts, I would advise against spending the money. I think at one point doing my misery I thought to myself, “Well uni isn’t meant to be fun anyway, I knew it would be hard work and stress”. After other courses and experiences, I have been reminded that learning and studying is meant to be a fun, and exciting yet challenging experience.
And don’t worry, along the journey you have, you may have a few of these conversations:
“Hey, this is Jenny, she works with me as a software developer”
“Oh hey Jenny, I’m Jessy, so nice to meet you! How long have you been working with M for?”
“Only a few months now. So, what do you do?”
Shit.
“Well, a few different things. I study film, well I did, but I’ve dropped out now.. I guess that wasn’t for me. I want to study fashion! Though I can’t afford it…”
“Ahh nice”
“No wait, I work in a shop! Part time don’t worry, retail sucks.”
“Mm yeah”,
– Bitch.
“I have loads of hobbies! I dance, I eat brunch and I blog about it!”
“Cool, how people read your blog?”
“Okay I’ve just started, so nobody yet.”
–
The end.
This has happened to me countless times. How do you say what you do when you aren’t really doing what you want to do? It doesn’t seem fair, or right to introduce myself as a shop supervisor or an ex-student, and let either of those things define me. It’s embarrassing because now Jenny knows her friends associate themselves with seemingly un-motivated people (this is not the case).
Do not let Jenny belittle you and make you feel less superior because you do not have a first degree in engineering, or whatever it is in.
Do not compare yourself to Jenny.
TRUST YOURSELF. TRUST YOUR GUT.
In fact, most people we like to compare ourselves to are so much older, and have so much more experience than we do. It was only the other week, I was sitting with my Mum complaining about how my brother makes more money than me, and can afford to buy and do things that I can’t. She had to remind me that he is 5 years older than me, and therefore is just that little bit ahead of me.
I am only 20! I forget myself sometimes that I do not need the answers that others seem to have around me, everybody finds themselves and what they want to do at completely different times. My Mum also reminded me how many people go off in one direction and then realise at 35 that they want to totally turn round and do something entirely different – and that’s fine too!
You can back to uni at any time, that funding is yours. So do not rush the decision, take your time, make it count, and make the decision for what’s best for you.
SO ultimately yes, it is time for me to drop out of uni. Now don’t you worry, I won’t be one of those people who live in their parents basements eating jam sandwiches (no judgement there really, we just don’t have a basement).
But the well known saying suggests, there really is no point crying over spilt milk, or halloumi sticks or brownies. Now you just have to learn from the mistake,
And in the words of Aailyah;
“If at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again.”
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